#60 Detroit Rock City

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#60 Write a short story that is set in Detroit in 1956, in which a car floor mat plays a crucial role.

Mike walked out of the court house with a smile on his face. After seven grueling tries to get his drivers license (including the incident that landed him on the front page of the Minneapolis Star after mistaking the gas for the brake and taking a detour into Lake Calhoun) Mike finally had the piece of paper that showed he was a legal driver. This called for a celebration! His first stop was at his best friend Steve’s house.

Walking into the Smith’s kitchen, Mike spotted Steve’s mom putting the finishing touches on a cake that said in fancy icing “Eighth Times the Charm.” Mike picked Steve’s mom in a bear hug and told her that he had passed the test and it had only taken him seven tries. Mrs. Smith started laughing and said, “I never thought I’d live to see the day. Wait until Steve hears about this.” Steve picked this minute to walk into the kitchen and see his mother’s emotional outburst. “Mike, grab a slice of cake and lets go break this license in!”

As Steve and Mike were driving around Minneapolis they started to talk about the big concert that was coming to town that weekend. Elvis. This goofy guy with a goofy hairstyle and even goofier dance moves had practically hypnotized all the girls at school. “I just don’t get what these girls see. His songs are pretty decent but they all act like they want to marry him.” Mike posed as they drove into the drive in to see their first movie of the spring. “I know that all the tickets are sold out for this show but my cousin in Detroit says that there are plenty of tickets for the show next Friday. Steve started laughing, “There is no way our parents are going to let us go to Detroit to see Elvis.” Mike had to agree, the thought of his parents letting him drive all the way to Michigan to see Elvis seemed far fetched. As they sat watching the movie Mike and Steve thought of excuses for going to Detroit. “Maybe we could tell them that we want to go to a Tigers game.” “Steve, they will never believe that a biggest Twins fan in the world would want to waste the time and money to see a Twins game. Besides, aren’t you saving up to go to Gustavus in the fall.” Suddenly a lightbulb went off in Steve’s mind he had the prefect plan to go to Detroit.
Four days later, Steve and Mike were in a car headed to Detroit. Steve had been right, he had the perfect plan for a parent endorsed trip to Detroit. Steve and Mike were both planning to attend Gustavus the next year. Gustavus, a lutheran school. This was fine news for Steve’s parents who were Lutheran but Mike’s parents were less than enthused worrying about wha the other members at the Church of St. Joseph would think about their only child attending a Lutheran school. Steve had decided that there must be a Catholic College in Detroit. After doing their research they decided that the Sacred Heart Major Seminary would be perfect. They scheduled a tour and got a very enthusiastic blessing from Mike’s parents.

As they drove around Detroit, Steve and Mike were very impressed with the big city. It seemed bigger than Minneapolis and St. Paul but they decided that this might just because everything in the city was new to them. They easily found the seminary and did the tour, looked at the dorms and sat down to lunch in cafeteria. Sitting at the table they separated their money into piles. A pile each for gas, food and lodging on the way home. It’s nice out we can camp at the side of the road. This is the money we can use for the tickets.

Steve and Mike went to the concert, had a great time and had to admit the girls were on to something. This Elvis was the real deal. Walking to the car after the concert they met with the sight of glass simmering in the street. The driver’s side window was smashed to pieces and all of their luggage, and even the peanut butter sandwiches they had snuck out of the cafeteria was gone. The only thing left in the car was the rock the person had used to break the windshield. Mike was terrified of what his parents would say. They wouldn’t believe that a seminary was in the part of town where your car got broken in to. Mike wrapped his jacket around his hand and started to brush the broken glass off the car seat. Steve just stood there looking pale. “Steve, wake up. did the body snatchers get you.” “Mike, you are gonna be really mad.”

Steve explained that he didn’t want his money getting stolen during the concert so he had hidden their money in his suitcase. His suitcase that was now gone. In their desperation to at least find enough gas money to get out of Detroit they started to search every inch of the car, there had to be a few coins wedged in the seat or hidden in the glove box. There search was fruitless except for the stick of juicy fruit gum they had ripped in half to share the wrapper fluttering to the floor. As Mike bent to pick up the wrapper he saw something sticking out under the floor mat. It was a note from written on an envelope that said “Mike, I love that you were nice enough to hide your trip to see Elvis with the hope of you going to the seminary. Your father and I have always loved a good joke.” Inside the envelope were two crisp 10 dollar bills. Mike had no idea how he would ever make this up to his mother. Well, short of going to the seminary to be a priest.

#57, # 58, #59 The Good, The Bad and The Thunderboomers.

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#57 The moment you knew you were no longer a child.

There are a lot of days when I still feel like a child. My friend Shawn and I joke (well, half joke/half truth) that we are terrible at being adults. It is pretty difficult to pinpoint the exact moment when I was no longer a child but a time that stands out in my mind is when I stopped sleeping in my parents rooms during thunderstorms. Let me explain. I grew up in the last years of the cold war. Every night when I went to sleep I prayed that there wouldn’t be a nuclear war that would destroy the Earth. I also grew up in a time when little kids were told about the end times in Sunday school so when there was a lightening storm I was pretty much convinced that it was the end of the world. I decided that if the world was going to end, I would meet the end snuggled between my parents in their bed. So, whenever there were “thunderboomers” I would crawl into bed with my mom and dad. This was easy in the early days of my childhood but as the Bakke family grew, the space in my parents bed shrank. When there wasn’t room in their bed I started bringing a pillow and a blanket and sleeping on the floor until the fateful night there wasn’t any room on the floor! So, I did what any normal kid would do, I slept in the doorway with half my body in my parents bedroom and half my body sticking out in the living room. Laying in the doorway, having to move when anyone had to get up to use the bathroom, I decided that the world was’t going to end with a measly thunderstorm and if there was a nuclear war being in my parents bed wasn’t going to save me and wouldn’t we all meet up again in Heaven? So, I started staying in my own bed, covering my heard with a pillow and blanket because EVERYONE knows that is the true protection from all of the evils of the world.

#58 The worst thing that could happen.

If I had a nickel for every time I have been asked or have asked this question I would be a millionaire. When you ask a student what is the worst thing that could happen they usually say, “Zombie Apocalypse!” When people ask me this it is usually to do with something at school so I’ll say, “get fired,” and getting fired isn’t the end of the world. Honestly, the worst thing that could ever happen would be something terrible happening to the people I love. Life is short and life is precious. I would hate for anything to happen that would cut short the life of anyone I hold precious.

#59 The best thing that could happen.

There are so many little things and big things that would make my day or make me incredibly happy. Waking up in a lakeside cottage, next to an incredible husband to find all my student loans paid off would be a terrific start but probably a tad bit selfish. I would love to live in a world where we wouldn’t have to have statements that “Black Lives Matter,” because all lives would matter. A world where people would think before they spoke, considered the feelings of others more and truly treated others the way they would want to be treated. But sometimes the best things that can happen are the little things that can remind you that we all have a place in this world, looking up into the sky seeing the stars and thinking about people who are far away and knowing that they see the same sky and hoping that they have the chance to look at the stars too.

#56 Baby Kitties

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#56 Thoughts on your favorite pet’s personality.

The Bakke children had many pets growing up. Eric and I being the rigid thinkers that we are decided that every hamster should be named Batman and every cat should be named Chad. We picked Batman for obvious reasons. The name Chad still kind of puzzles me. Why Chad? As the Bakke family expanded, our younger siblings did not see the merits of pets just having one name. The first pet to break the rules was Charlotte. Charlotte had a habit of licking all the sauce off of spaghetti.

After Charlotte we had three cats that were the hall of fame, never to be forgotten, pets. First there was Homer. He was named after Homer Simpson. I kind of think of Homer as the original “grumpy cat.” Homer liked to lay around and he didn’t want to be bothered. Homer thought that all seating areas belonged to him. He was almost impossible to move out of a chair. I remember one time having to tip a chair forward so gravity finally moved Homer out of my way. Eventually, Homer had us trained and you would just move to a different chair. Homer had a very gruff meow. It was almost like he was saying “What?” He just couldn’t be bothered. But, oh how we loved that cat. He was kind of like that grumpy Uncle that everyone loves so much. My sister Alyssa loved him so much that I think some people in her college dorm thought she had a boyfriend back home named Homer. Kyle got a little sick of having a cat that wouldn’t do anything but sit there and yell at you so he convinced my parents to get a cat that had some pep in his step and then they got Froot Loop. I remember telling my friend about our two cats and he said that it was sad that Homer had gotten too old to play. I had to set him straight, Homer wasn’t old. Homer was practically a kitten himself, but he chose to live his life like he was a hundred years old.

Froot Loop was the complete opposite of Homer. Froot Loop was the name that the animal shelter had given him. We thought about renaming him but after a few days it was obvious that this cat was INSANE and Froot Loop was the perfect name. Froot Loop was excited that he had a brother Homer. He would, leap, jump and roll around Homer trying to get him to play. Homer was not buying what Froot Loop was selling he would sit there with this crazy kitten rolling all around trying to get him to move. Homer wouldn’t budge. If cats could roll their eyes Homer totally would have rolled his eyes at Froot Loop. Homer and Froot Loop were an amazing team. Homer did nothing, Froot Loop did nothing. Froot Loop loved to escape. I remember one night driving by a construction site and seeing Froot Loop sitting in the drivers seat of a bulldozer. Kyle and I joked that Froot Loop had taken a job as a construction foreman. Sadly, Homer and Froot Loop when to Kitty Heaven only two days apart. We didn’t know if we would find a cat to fill the void and we did with Monk.

Monk came to us with the name “Uncle Elizabeth” from the shelter. We decided to name him after the TV detective Monk. We decided that he must have had a similar amount of neurosis because he spent the first two days as a Bakke hiding under the futon. Monk was a quiet kitty. You could never hear him meow. We always imagined him asking us politely if we could “keep it down.” He was so quiet and surrounded by loud Bakke’s. He would open his mouth like a lion roaring and only a tiny little squeak would come out. One time Monk was down in the basement crying very loudly. It just so happened that this one time tantrum happened after a startling Chicago Bears loss. We decided that Monk must be a bears fan. Monk was a lap cat. He was very content to sit in your lap for hours and then out of no where he would dig his claws into you. I joked that someone must have told Monk that he was filled was helium and that he was going to float away like a balloon and the only way to stay earth bound was to dig your claws in. You could learn a lot from a cat like Monk.

#53, 54 & 55 Bono Understands!

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#53 A bad situation that turned out for the best.
During the summer my dear old dad fell out of bed and cut his head open on the night stand. He ended up needing stitches. Because he takes blood thinners he had to have a cat scan or an MRI or something of that nature to make sure he wasn’t bleeding in his brain. What they did find was evidence that he had been having little strokes. This opened the door to more testing and then they discovered that his right carotid artery was almost completely blocked. They scheduled surgery and he came through with flying colors. If my dad hadn’t fallen out of bed, the ticking time bomb in his neck probably would have gone off within the year leaving him the victim of a massive stroke. Yep. Falling out of bed was one of the best things that happened to my dad.

This happened when I lived in Alaska too. I remember someone from the village got into a fight and was severely beaten. The person was beaten so badly that they needed to be med-evaced to Anchorage. While that person was there they found cancer. The doctors told the person that the beating saved their life. True story.

#54 Finding a bag of cash.
If I found a bag of cash. I would teach myself to do a cartwheel to express how happy I was to find said cash. Actually, if it was a lot of cash I would try and find the person who lost it because finding a bag of cash is awesome. Losing a bag of cash….pretty awful.

The village I lived in did not have a bank so to get cash you would have to write a check at the store or win a poker game. And in the case of the poker game it would all be in nickels and dimes. So, each fall when I went up to Alaska I would give my sister my cash card and when I was getting to the the end of my pile of cash I would call her and tell her to send me two hundred dollars. I know, I know. Sending cash in the mail is beyond stupid. But, I was living in Alaska and it lends itself to doing stupid things often. The money always made it safe and sound into my hands but one time I misplaced the envelope. I think that I misplaced it because that is the kind of woman I am. I imagine someone could have stolen it or found it and then didn’t tell me, but I choose to put the blame on myself. I like to think that if someone did find the $200 it made their day and they spent it on something like Coca Cola or a nice little squirrel knick-knack because we all know that the world needs more squirrels.

#55 Would you rather win the Nobel Prize or be a rock star?
Nobel Prize without a doubt. If I were Bono, I would say BOTH!!!

#52 My Evil Twin

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Editor’s note: This writing prompt (along with a whole lot of life) brought on a month long bout of writers block. When I was talking about the prompt with my sister Alyssa she suggested that some people in the world find some of the nicest people the worst. She gave me this idea.

# 52 Write a short story in which you are the villain.

There are people who like giving gifts and there are people who like receiving gifts. Then there are people like me who get no joy in giving gifts and feel like they have contracted ebola, avian flu, and mad cow disease when they receive gifts. I hate getting gifts because I immediately feel like I owe this person. I’m not just talking about when your friend give you a fifty dollar sweater when you made them a birthday card by crossing out Merry Christmas on an unused Christmas card. I’m talking about the niceties of someone holding the door open for me. That’s right, I hate it when someone holds the door open for me because I suddenly feel that I need to follow them around all day and hold the door open for them. I try to time entering and leaving buildings so I am not near any people so there is no temptation to go down that niceness spiral. My wife says that this line of thinking would make villains out of do-gooders. I couldn’t agree more! My sister-in-law Heather Bakke is the greatest super-villain in the world. I made the mistake of letting it slip that I liked penguins. Every time she sees a penguin she thinks of me. “Oh, I saw this article on penguins I thought I’d send it to you.” Great, now I have to send her an article on squirrels. That’s what I could do but I don’t because I can’t stand having to send gifts. Why can’t I just be left alone? If I want to find an article on penguins I’ll look it up myself. How would she like it if people started sending her tons of squirrel stuff constantly? I suppose it would make her day. What a sick freak! She lives to find stuff to brighten peoples day. “Oh, in 1999 you mentioned that you like lemons. Here is a stick of lemon flavored gum that I ordered on eBay.” Heaven help the friend of hers that finds themselves in some obscure outpost of the world. “Oh, I heard that your job sent you to Mongolia. I’ve heard that HP sauce is the perfect compliment to yak meat, here are a few bottles to share with your new tribe! Also, I thought you might miss listening to the radio so I taped a few hours of Kool 108. Enjoy!” That is how evil she is. Move to the other side of the planet and you still can’t escape her. Her students must hate her. Ugh…. Heather Bakke is the WORST!!!

#49, #50, & #51 Hanauma Bay!!!!!!!!

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#49 Write a review of a novel or memoir you’ve never written.

In Heather Bakke’s debut memoir, “My Apologies to the Custodian,” we are taken to a world where Heather Bakke is the center of many a storm.  It is hard to believe that one person could be so unlucky in love but so lucky in the field of education.  (I am still trying to figure out how many of the men she had crushes on that became priests or fled the country.) Heather finds ways to make a classroom interesting and her life seem boring. The title of the book comes from an essay where she tells of the time she vomited in the garbage can in front of her entire class and none of them noticed.  When she told the custodian about the mess in the garbage can she was too embarrassed to admit it was her and blamed it on one of her students.  The books is filled with many of these stories.  Some stories touching, some thought provoking all of them humorous. I am still trying to figure this woman out.  Is she a champion of the human race or is she a person that watches way too much TV?  She definitely needs to get better grasp on the proper use of commas.

#50 I didn’t know what was happening at the time.

To celebrate my five years of teaching in Alaska, my friend Sue and I went to Hawaii.  We stayed on Oahu and had a wonderfully, outa this world, amazing time.  Before the trip I spent weeks reading about what to do on Oahu.  One of the things I really wanted to do was to go snorkeling in Hanauma Bay.  Sue was pretty dubious.  Could this place possibly be as good as I thought it was going to be?  Yes, a thousand time yes.  Hanauma bay is pretty close to the most perfect place on Earth.  We followed the guidebooks advice to a tee.  We got there early, brought stuff to drink, bought disposable underwater cameras, rode the tram down the hill.  The one thing I ignored was their suggestion to wear a t-shirt.  They even went on to explain that when you are snorkeling you are pointing your back to the sky…. you might get sunburnt even if you have on sunscreen.  But, I ignored their advice.  While I was exploring the beautiful coral reefs and adoring the multi-colored fish I was COOKING my back.  For the rest of the vacation I was the color of a lobster.  Every once in a while I would shriek and Sue would ask what was wrong and I would say, “my back.”  Four months later you could still see the outline of my swimsuit.  Tan lines in October.  It was crazy.  If you ever go snorkeling, WEAR A SHIRT!!!

#51 Your city one hundred years from now. 

In one hundred years Buffalo will still be called a bedroom community.  People will live here and commute to the cities. Commuting will take place on high speed light rail trains.  The station will be in the hub of Buffalo, right next to the Dairy Queen. Dairy Queen will continue to sell Dilly Bars but will have one laced with Dramamine for people who can’t stomach the light rail.   People will still continue to call places by their old names.  The grocery store down town will be a Whole Foods market but people will still refer to it as Holmquist’s.  People will also tell you about the time the light burned out on their sign and instead of saying “total discount foods,” it said “total disco.”  A memorial will be built to honor Buffalo’s long lost architectural gem the “round bank.” The high school mascot will continue to be a bison.  During half time of football games a hologram herd of bison will entertain the crowd.  “The rock” by the high school will have reached the size of an actual bison from the many layers of spray paint.

#47 & #48 A near death experience and experiences with death.

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#47 The time you were the most terrified-your knees were knocking, your heart was racing, you could barely stand to be in your own skin.

Traveling in Alaska is so dependent on the weather.  If you were leaving the village you spent hours obsessing over online weather predictions.  The jet from Kotzebue could fly in just about anything but the little planes that went back and forth to the village were a different story.  Which, is good.  It gave you great confidence that they took your safety seriously.  But, when your flight got delayed you were very bummed.

One time another teacher and I had to go to Kotzebue for math training.  We flew in on a Wednesday afternoon and were going to get to fly back to Selawik on Friday.  Friday we sat at Bering air waiting for the afternoon flight to Selawik.  They delayed it, and then they ended up canceling it.  Dejected my colleague and headed back to the hotel to spend another night in Kotzebue.  Saturday morning we went back to Bering air and began the waiting game again.  The weather hadn’t improved that much, and the flight got delayed, but suddenly the sun came out and we were able to hop on the plane and leave.  Usually, the plane went straight to Selawik but the pilot informed us that we had to drop someone off in Noorvik.  No big deal.  We were headed in the right direction.  When we took off we had to go through a bank of clouds.  This part is very scary in a little plane.  You know that the pilot has instruments that let them know where you are but that means very little when you can’t seen anything around you but clouds.  You start thinking about Sweet Dreams that Patsy Cline movie where they come out of the clouds and hit a mountain.  We never really came out of the fog bank so it felt like we were flying blind the entire way to Noorvik.  There was a lot of turbulence and the plane was bouncing up and down.  I remembered thinking “This is it, this is how I’m going to die.”  I didn’t cry or scream.  I just sat there praying.  I thanked God for giving me a good life and I asked that my parents not be too sad about losing me.  All of the sudden the plane did a nosedive and I just held on.  But, we landed.  I almost passed out with relief.  We dropped the person off and then the pilot said that we would be going on to Selawik.  I remember thinking that I should get off the plane.  Sure, I didn’t know anyone in Noorvik but I knew I could sleep in the school.  I didn’t know what to do so I sat there.  We took off and it was much of the same but suddenly we came out of the clouds and it was perfect flying weather.  You could see Selawik gleaming in the distance.  It had never looked more beautiful.  When we landed I couldn’t decide if I should kiss the gravel runway or the pilot.  I kissed neither.  I patted him on the back and thanked him for getting us home safely.  He said, “Well, Selawik is going to be my home now because they closed the airport in Kotzebue.  I can’t go back until it clears up.”  Both my colleague and I offered to let him come to our homes for lunch and a place to crash (this was the village way.)  He politely declined.  When I got back to my house I called my cousin and her family in Kotzebue to tell her that I had made it back to the village.  They were pretty shocked that anyone had made it out.  “We only heard one plane and we figured it was just some nut.”  Yep.  That nut was me.

#48 The difference between the first death you remember and the most recent one.

There were many deaths in my young life that I don’t remember.  But the first memory I have of actually seeing someone who was dying and then going to their funeral was when Joe, Buffalo Wrestling’s number one fan died of cancer.  Joe and his wife Pauline lived for Bison Wrestling.  They were the age that grandparents should be so I kind of thought of them as my Buffalo Grandparents.  (Since my own grandparents were far away in Iowa.)  Joe had gotten sick and was on oxygen.  I remember my parents taking all of us kids over for a visit.  They had a little rat terrier that was so excited about seeing all of us little kids that it started running circles around the house and then it run up into my dad’s arms and peed all over him.  I remember it being one of the funniest moments of my childhood.  When Joe died, everyone was sad.  The funeral was at the funeral home in Buffalo.  I remember everyone wearing the school colors of purple and white.  All the wrestlers and their families were in attendance and my dad was a pall bearer.  Joe had served in the military and they did the military salute.  I remember being shocked how loud the guns were.

The last death I experienced was incredibly sad and painful because it was someone who was very young.  My best friend’s niece died after a long illness.  I took great solace in the fact that during all her time in the hospital, the family had a lot of time to talk, joke, laugh, cry and hold each other.  Everything that needed to be said got to be said.  The memorial service for this young girl was also at Peterson Chapel.  People who visited the family were given seeds to plant “forget me nots.”  There was also a theme about butterflies.  The mother of the girl who died, told me that “Butterflies need to be free.”  It was such a beautiful sentiment.  Now, every time I see a butterfly I think of this girl and smile.  I know that while we are sad that she is no longer on Earth with us, she is free and in the best place there is.

 

#44, #45 & #46 Now I shall exalt the oyster and ice cream.

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#44 The thoughts of the first man to eat an oyster.

I am so hungry that I could eat this thing.  I wonder if it’s poisonous? Well, here goes nothing.  I didn’t vomit.  That’s a good sign.  I wonder if I tell people these are good they’ll believe me?

#45 Your most transcendent ice cream experience.

When I was teaching in Alaska, one of my colleagues went to Italy over summer vacation.  When I happened upon this teacher in the airport in Anchorage when it was time to go up to Selawik for another year of teaching she started telling me about her trip to Italy and all the wonderful things that she got to do and see. The one thing she mentioned more than anything was the gelato.  She continued to mention the gelato for the next two years.  She really like gelato.  “Well, this birthday cake is pretty good but what I could go for right now would be some gelato.”  If you invited her over to your house and offered her something to drink her typical response was “yeah, I’ll take a coke but what I really want is some gelato.”  Surprisingly, that got very old.

Four years later, my sister Alyssa invited me along on her trip to Florence, Italy.  I had never been to Europe and I was super excited because I knew that I could become one of those annoying people who went on and on about gelato.  It’s not like I had never had gelato.  You can get gelato at the Minnesota State Fair, you can get gelato at the Mall of America, heck, you can even buy gelato at the grocery store.  So, just like the secret of realty is location, location, location.  The secret to the mystical power of Italian gelato is location.  The only thing better than pistachio gelato, is eating pistachio gelato sitting outside on the Palazzo Vecchio.  It just tastes better because you are so dreadfully hot you think you are about a block from the sun.  But you have cool, creamy, wonderful gelato and you will live long enough to see all the treasures at the Academia Gallery.  When Michelangelo’s David looks down on you, his knowing eyes will seem to point out the gelato that has melted all over your t-shirt.

#46 Describe exaltation. 

To praise, to sing, to want to shout out!  Sometimes exaltation comes from seeing something and being inspired.  The first time I saw the Missouri River, I was completely speechless.  I had a feeling that my life would never be the same.  This river was so big and wide and majestic!  I felt like Lewis and Clark rolled into one.  I had the same feeling when I walked along a frozen river and looked up at the aurora.  Nature has a tendency to amaze me.  You can see God’s creation in each minute detail.

#42 and #43 I regret that

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#42 Something you’ve always regretted saying.

At the end of my junior year of high school, I was befriended by a girl that was more popular than I was.  I was pretty shocked that this girl decided that I was someone she wanted to hang out with.  She asked me if I wanted to go to Ridgedale and I was pretty sure that it was a joke.  I envisioned us getting to the mall and me getting doused with a bucket of pigs blood or some other geek shaming ritual.  But, that was not the case.  This girl did want to be my friend.  We were in choir together and had a lot of similar interests so we became fast friends.

Speaking of choir.  There was a sophomore girl who sat in front of us in choir who was really snotty and not very nice to anyone.  She seemed very fake all they way down to the fact that she obviously, spent time in the tanning booth.  During the night of one of our concerts my new BFF decided that she had had enough of this girl and was going to put her in her place.  She started saying things like, “Tan much?” She then started calling the girl a “citrus princess,” making fun of her unnatural color.  And what did I do?  Did I tell her to knock it off?  Did I tell her that even though this girl was awful, there was no reason for us to pick on her? Did I just tell her to shut up?  Nope.  I laughed and played along. I did nothing to stop it and probably egged her on. I was a coward.

This happened almost 25 years ago and I still feel terrible.  That night my character was tested and I totally failed.  Now that I’m a teacher, I tell this story to my students tell them that sitting back and doing nothing is pretty hard to forget. You will regret the things that you don’t say and don’t do just as much as the times that you are doing and saying bad things.  Be a person that you would be proud to know.  Don’t stoop to the level of others.

#43 Write a scene that begins: “Joe was the last person on Earth I expected to do that.” 

Joe was the last person on Earth I expected to do that.  He had never once talked to me or even seemed to notice who I was but suddenly, on a Monday morning he walked up carrying a cup from Starbucks.  “Um, good morning.  I know that you prefer to get your coffee from small independent stores but I drive by Starbucks on my way to work.  I figured it was better than nothing.” Joe stammered as he handed me the coffee cup.

I thanked him and took a sip, burning my mouth, yelling, “crap! That is as hot as lava.”

“Well, actually lava is 2,192 degrees Fahrenheit.  If the coffee was that hot it would have burned the cup, and your hand, and your face.”

“Oh, I suppose you are right, and how would you get lava here in Minnesota.  Hot asphalt maybe, but lava, definitely not. Well, thank you.  I think this is the first time you have ever spoken to me so it is delightful to get coffee.  Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.  Listen, I have to ask you for a favor.”

“Butter me up and then go in for the kill.  So, what do you need someone to babysit your kids, cat sit, dog sit, pick up your mail, water your plants, write you a sonnet.”

“So, I’m taking it this happens a lot.”

“Yes, it is one of the perils of being single and having no life.  You are available to watch plants, pets and progeny.”

“Well, you’ll be happy to know it is none of those things.”

“New is good.  So, what do you need a kidney?  Please don’t say a kidney.  I will feel like the biggest jerk in the world.”

“No. I need you to help me get ready for being on Jeopardy.”

“That. Is. Awesome.  It has always been my ultimate life goal to get on Jeopardy.  No offense Joe, if you have the ability to rattle off the the temperature of lava, you don’t need me.”

“Well, your first day on the job, when we asked you what you liked to do in your spare time, you said TV.  Most people would lie and say that they liked to read but you announced with no shame that you liked to watch TV.  I need someone who likes to watch TV.”

“Well, I’m your girl.”

#39, #40 and #41 Music, Words, and memories.

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#39 If each decade of your life was represented by a pop song, what would they be?

1970’s They Long to Be (Close to You) by the Carpenters.  I remember my Mom singing this to me when I was a little kid.  “On the day that you were born the angels got together and decided to create a dream come true.”

1980’s Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen The first album I bought at the Ben Franklin in Buffalo was Born in the USA.  Dancing in the dark was my favorite song on the album.

1990’s It’s the End of the World as We Know it (and I feel fine) by R.E.M this song was not written in the 1990’s but I can guarantee that it was and still is my anthem.

2000’s  New Year’s Day by U2.  This song was absolutely not from the 2000’s but this song changed my life.  During the summer of 2001 I was looking for a job and I drove to Waconia to turn in my resume for a social studies opening they had.  When I got to the office they told me that the position had already been filled.  I made it out to my car before I burst into tears.  When I turned on the radio New Year’s Day was playing and the lyric “I will begin again.”  Hit me.  When I heard this I decided that I needed to make a change.  When I got back to Mankato I called the human resources director for the Northwest Arctic Borough School District and got a job teaching in Alaska.

2010’s– Papa Gene’s Blue’s by the Monkees. Any song sung and written by Michael Nesmith is a gem.  I just love the refrain of “I have no more than I did before but now I have all that I need.”  I kind of feel like I may not be ahead, but I am pretty content with what I have.

#40 Describe each person in your family with just one word.

Dad- Wrestling

Mom- Loving

Eric- Cat

Me- Groovy

Shawn- Legend

Heidi- Fantastic

Alyssa- Awesome

Kyle- Viking

#41 What you would run out of the house with if your house caught on fire.

I have such a difficult time letting go of things.  I save almost everything because so many things seem special to me.  For ten years I had a storage locker that was kind of like an albatross around my neck.  One time when I was driving with my mom we passed a storage locker unit that had burned down and I joked that those people were “living the dream.” But it is pretty terrible to think that a fire would be a blessing.  If my house were on fire, I would grab the year round Christmas tree.  It is a small tree so I’d be able to hold on to it, and it is covered with squirrel ornaments.  The top of the tree has a quilted heart that my Grandma Johnson gave me, I would be very sad if that was gone.  So, I would grab the tree.  I’m sure the fire fighters would be very confused by this.